Always Second Best
by Once Was AHR
Summary: Until the manga series ends, Naruto is not allowed to fight against Sasuke. So what does he do? Challenges the protagonist to the 2nd most popular manga of course! That means you Ichigo Kurosaki! NarutoXBleach crossover with alot of other universes used
1. Finding the Best

It was all the editors fault in Narutos view. If they hadn't been so secretive, this whole thing would have never happened. Naruto would have never met the likes of Ichigo Kurosaki, and would never have to have worried about whether to bet on Gandalf or Dumbledore.

But the editors had been secretive.

It was a pretty trivial rule, at the time; no characters from the same canon may fight each other outside of the manga/anime/book/movie until said series had ended. It made sense after all. If the results of a pseudo match between Goku and Cell had been leaked before the actual chapter with the actual match had been released, the audience would have shrunk dramatically.

For the most part, everyone accepted this rule, and merely waited for indefinite amounts of time until they could finally fight some rival or another that they had never fought in manga/anime/book/movie.

That meant that Naruto wasn't allowed to fight Sasuke.

It wasn't fair! Naruto had nothing better to do but sit around all day dully acting out whatever chapter Kishimoto-sama dished out. He couldn't even see Sakura-chan or Sai because he was off learning how to become a stupid frog sage. The only one who had been nice enough to come with him was Shikamaru. And all he wanted to do was play stupid strategy games.

Bah. Frog sage, why couldn't of Kishimoto-sama thought of something cooler? Like… a Shadow sage! Or…or…or a Ramen sage! Yeah…power of ramen!

One day, for the pure fun of it, he decided to annoy Shikamaru.

It was a horribly easy task, to annoy poor old Shikamaru, but it gave Naruto much needed glee, as he eagerly stalked the ponytailed chuunin, until it was time to tackle him.

And for the tenth time in a week, Shikamaru fell to the ground, due to an idiot in an orange jumpsuit.

"Naruto!" Shikamaru groaned. "Can't you just leave me alone?"

"Never' Tebayo!' Naruto shouted gleefully.

Shikamaru struggled to stand up as Naruto refused to get off of him. It scared him, what happened to Naruto when he got bored enough. Shikamaru briefly was considering it could lead to another apocalypse when-

"Shikamaru!! Fight with me Dattebayo!!" Naruto holler, at him as he got off of Shikamaru.

Shikamaru stood up, shaking his head, and held up two fingers.

"One, It's against the rules, Two, even if it wasn't I have to go somewhere."

Narutos face fell, and he muttered rude words under his breath. He was Naruto Uzumaki! He shouldn't be put under such a case of boredom! He was the title character! Not that stupid Sasuke, who kept taking his page time.

Shikamaru began to back away slowly from the blonde haired idiot. "Well," He said tiredly, "I have to go now, as troublesome as it is to leave you behind." Shikamaru said sarcastically. Having spent the last couple of weeks with a whiny Naruto had not brightened his mood in the slightest.

Naruto immediately brightened, and to Shikamarus horror, he realized what he had just implied.

"No!" Shikamaru said frantically. "That's not what I meant! You are not coming with me!"

**x.X.x**

Despite Shikamaru being quite firm on the subject, he was no match for Naruto and his sexy jutsu.

So Shikamaru was forced to take Naruto to his destination.

The destination was a huge dome. There was a giant read 'X' over the entrance, but other than that, nothing gave away what the dome was for.

"Welcome" Shikamaru said tonelessly "To the blank X dome."

Naruto snickered at the name. "That's a stupid name 'Tebayo. Why do they call it that?"

At that moment, someone came over to Shikamaru. He had bobbed green hair and wore a school uniform. "Shikamaru!" He said, with a fierce glint in his eyes.

Shikamaru gave a vague nod. "Akira." Unlike Akira, he had no fiery glint of passion in his eyes.

Akira said nothing else, but walked off towards the dome, leaving Shikamaru and Naruto alone again.

"Who was that 'Tebayo?" Naruto asked curiously. He looked around to see who else was around them.

Surrounding the dome were hundreds of people. Some were dressed in 'normal' clothing (or at least, normal to Naruto) while others were dressed in the weirdest clothing Naruto had ever seen. Some looked like they had stepped out of doll house, with ultra Lolita styled dresses.

Others were dressed in what looked like bathrobes, and some seemed to be dressed in uniforms.

"Akira Toya." Shikamaru said impatiently. "He's my Go opponent."

Naruto laughed. "Go? You came all the way here to play Go?!"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Yes you troublesome idiot! I came here to play Go! So just leave me alone and find something to do." He hissed through gritted teeth. He walked towards the dome leaving Naruto all alone.

Naruto blinked in confusion. "Shikamaru!! Wait up 'Tebayo!" He hollered frantically, and ran after the chuunin. Unfortunately, He couldn't catch sight of Shikamaru anywhere.

The dome on the inside was a lot different. It was separated into several slightly smaller, but still quite large stadiums. Some had hundreds of tables with board games on them. Others had more of a gladiator esque feel to them. Naruto walked to the stadium where two people were fighting.

One had a dark green bandana on his head, and three swords. One in each hand, and the other in his mouth.

The other was also a swordsman, and had long orange hair in a ponytail. He also had an 'X' shaped scar on one side of his face. He had one sword.

The stadium was clearly split, one half chanting the word 'Zoro' the other 'Kenshin'. From what Naruto could see, neither had any deep cuts, and while the orange haired one was faster, the one with the green bandana seemed to be a lot stronger.

"Place your bets!" Squawked some guy. "Place you bets! You! Blondie! Have you placed your bet yet?"

Naruto turned around to see who was addressing him. His jaw dropped. He found himself face to face with a guy who appeared to have stitches for a mouth. He wore some weird hat and an Akatsuki cloak. It was Kakuzu.

Kakuzu widened his green eyes when he realized the 'Blondie' was Naruto. "Uzumaki!" He said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

Naruto shrugged, as his muscles involuntarily tensed up. In the real world the Akatsuki weren't evil. Just shady. But that didn't stop Naruto from getting an adrenaline rush every time he saw them.

"I have no idea Dattebayo." Naruto said truthfully. Kakuzu laughed at the statement.

"Lemme guess, Shikamaru-chan dragged ya here?" Kakuzu said with a chortle. One of the oddest sounds in the world, was hearing Kakuzu laugh. It had to do with the fact that most of Kakuzus body was horribly mismatched due to the whole immortality thing.

Naruto gave a vague nod. The way Kakuzu said it, you would think he and Shikamaru were rather close.

"KAKUZU!!" A high voice screeched in the distance. A girl with short orange hair grabbed the Akatsuki by the collar. "What are you doing?" She hissed.

Kakuzu widened his eyes. "S-sorry Nami-san! I was just talking to Naruto, he's in my-"

"I DON'T CARE!! Just get back to work!!" She screeched letting go of Kakuzu. She gave him a death ray glare and walked away.

Kakuzu paled a bit out of fear and immediately went back to work. He paused and motioned for Naruto to follow him.

Between 'Place your bets!' Kakuzu explained to Naruto what the dome was.

Essentially, it was a place for characters to other characters from a different story. It was a great way for characters to blow off steam and answer the age old question 'Who would win in a fight?'

Of course, it wasn't just anime and manga characters that fought each other. People came far and wide to watch the annual 'Lucky verses the Rabbit' battle Sometimes they even tag teamed with Tony the tiger and Cap'n Crunch.

And of course, everyone had a rank. There was a huge board that showed the strongest and the weakest, battlers. Your score was computed on how many times you lost, how many hits you got in, how strong your opponent was, etc, etc.

This particular stadium was 'anime only' characters, but there was a merger stadium where battlers could cross genres. Of course, killing each other wasn't the only way to fight in the dome. Shougi, Go, rock paper scissors, you name it, there was a section for it.

Naruto listened to this like a little boy who had been told he had just been named Hokage.

"You gotta let me fight the strongest one!!" Naruto yelled out in excitement.

Kakuzu sighed. "Naruto look…Place your bets!!...I know this is exciting…Bets!!...but it's not that easy…You there! How much?...even if you could, no one knows who the top battler is…Ten thousand on Rurouni? Got it! Name please…"

The top battler was an astounding five hundred and thirty two thousand points ahead of the second best battler. The name merely read

**Kugox**

In big bold letters. There was no picture, or explanation of origin in any pamphlet that was usually issued out about the battlers. He was simply a mystery. A popular the theory was that he originated from the kingdom hearts game, but it was highly unlikely since none of the kingdom heart battlers had ever made it into the top two hundred, let alone the top battler position. Besides, the position had been held by Kugox much longer then kingdom hearts had been around.

Naruto was disappointed, but he wasn't about to let that stop him. He decided he would have to merely fight the second best battler. If he won, then this 'Kugox' would HAVE to notice him.

"Who's the second best battler 'Tebayo?" Naruto asked eagerly.

Kakuzu sighed. "I highly doubt he would fight you Naruto. He only fights the guys in the top twenty. Even then he's pretty picky."

Naruto was oblivious to it. "I don't care!! I'll fight him! Or I'll just get to the top twenty! How long does it take?"

Kakuzu paused for a moment and did some math in his head. "If you didn't lose a single battle, and you didn't get hit once…about four months."

Naruto groaned. Four months? No way! And not getting hit once…that was just impossible! Even impossible for the great Naruto Uzumaki! And nothing was impossible for the great Naruto!

He stalked away, claiming that he was going to buy some ramen. In reality, he decided he would hunt down this second best battler and challenge him to a battle. He looked up at the score board one more time. The second best battler was

**Ichigo Kurosaki**

What a stupid name! It reminded him of strawberries…

Kakuzu might not have been able to read minds, but he had a pretty good guess on what the Kyuubi host was planning. "He's usually hanging around the graveyard." He hollered at Naruto.

The Graveyard was in fact, not an actual graveyard, but a restaurant installed right in between the stadium to literary battlers and the stadium devoted to quiz shows.

Naruto walked in and found himself in some sort of futuristic (by his standards) setting, with blaring music. He walked up to the hostess and took a deep breath.

"I'M LOOKING FOR ICHIGO KUROSAKI!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. As it turned out, the music was not as loud as Naruto had first thought, and everyone in the restaurant heard him.

Some of the younger kids laughed at him. One old lady sighed and buried her face, and one old man grumbled about the old days.

The hostess turned a deep red from embarrassment. "He is not taking challenges today."

Naruto didn't care. "WELL!" He hollered, before half the restaurant shushed him.

"Well" He said slightly more quiet. "He's going to accept MY challenge 'Dattebayo."

"What now?" A voice said in obvious annoyance.

Naruto whirled around and came face to shoulder with a tall teenager with orange spiky hair. (Was orange a trend or something?)

"First that Gon kid, then the Luffy kid, and now **you**?" He said in annoyance. "Can't a guy get some peace?"

"You…you're Ichigo!?" Naruto asked in excitement.

The teen nodded and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, pretty much."

Naruto grinned maniacally, and poked Ichigo in the forehead. "I challenge you 'Tebayo!!" He said enthusiastically.

Ichigo barely reacted. "Yeah, get in line."

Naruto shook his head. He was getting mad now. "Your gonna fight me! Got that!"

"What's your rank shorty?" Ichigo said irritably. He had had a long day and wasn't in the mood to battle another hotshot.

Naruto paused for a moment. "Errr…well….I don't actually _have _a rank. See this is my first time here and-"

Ichigo sweat dropped and sighed. "Fine."

Naruto blinked. "Fine what?"

"Fine, I'll fight you."

Naruto leaped up and punched the air. "YESSSS!! This is great!! When can we fight? How about now 'Tebayo" He said rapidly not bothering to contain his excitement.

"Tomorrow. Twelve am." Ichigo said simply before walking towards a table with a menu in arm. "But right now, I'm hungry. Go away."

Naruto grinned and made a good guy pose. "You can count on me!" He said eagerly, and rushed out of the door in a blaze of happiness.

The hostess frowned as she got Ichigo his food. "Isn't that the time you have that rematch with Hiei?" She said worriedly.

Ichigo nodded, and took a sip from his cup. "Yeah, I can't stand another battle with that eye guy. Besides, I recognized that kid. He's the leading character from his own manga series. It's even **named **after him. Chances are, this battles gonna be good."

The hostess gave a dazzling smile and retreated back to the kitchen.

**x.X.x**

On the way home, Naruto could barely contain his happiness from Shikamaru. He kept talking, and talking, and just when Shikamaru thought he might collapse from lack of oxygen, he talked for another half hour. After a long time, Naruto finally became sensitive enough to ask how Shikamaru did in his Go game.

Shikamaru shrugged. "Lost by a point, but it was a pretty close game, we're having a rematch tomorrow."

Naruto nodded eagerly, since he didn't want to come to the stadium alone. Not that he was afraid or anything, he just had no idea how to get to the dome without Shikamarus' instructions.

Naruto and Shikamaru made it back to the apartment where they had been staying. It smelled horribly of frogs, but for once, it was totally quiet. For once both Naruto and Shikamaru went to sleep at the exact time they should, and for the first time since they had gotten here, they slept peacefully.

Tomorrow would be a new day. One filled with battles of strength and mind. Unfortunately, little did Naruto know what he was getting himself into…

**To be Continued**


	2. Battling the Best

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing- only to be promptly shot down for target practice. It was eleven am and Naruto had already dragged Shikamaru to the dome. He was jittering from excitement, waiting eagerly for his first battle since…since a while really.

"Na..ruto!" Shikamaru groaned sleepily. "Did you have to drag me all the way here?" He rubbed his temples and shut his eyes to keep the sunlight out.

Naruto jumped up. "C'mon Shikamaru! This is my big battle 'Tebayo!" He cackled evily. He could picture it now…

_Ichigo would charge at him, with large bloody gashes all over him. "Impossible!" He shrieked. "I can't lose!" Naruto would generate a rasengan and slam it into him, sending him crashing into the wall. The screen would read: WINNER NARUTO!! And at that moment, Kugox would appear. He would then be forced to give up his position to the amazing Uzumaki._

Yep. That would totally be how the battle turned out. After all, This 'Ichigo' person didn't have his own manga named after him now did he? Nooooo!

After several minutes, Naruto couldn't take it anymore and left Shikamaru to get some sleep. The anime stadium was oddly empty, with no fights taking place at all. There was great deal of noise coming from the stadium one over though…

It was the literary stadium, and Naruto was shocked at the amount of people in the stadiums. All to watch to old geezers wave sticks at each other. After a couple seconds of watching the fight, he was located by Kakuzu.

"Hey!! If it isn't the Kyuubi again! Rumor has it you managed to get a challenge out of _the _Ichigo Kurosaki!" Kakuzu said cheerfully in his weird voice.

Naruto nodded. "Yup in an hour. I'm gonna kick his ass Dattebayo!"

Kakuzu just nodded vaguely, keeping a look out for a very cranky orange haired girl.

"So, whose the two old geezers Tebayo?" Naruto asked curiously.

If Kakuzus green eyes could bulge out anymore, they would have. "That's Gandalf and Dumbledore! This battle has been a decade in the making!"

Naruto blinked in confusion. "Ok…"

Kakuzu sighed. "They are two wizards from rival series. Like… the kages…sort of." Kakuzu just shook his head in annoyance. Leave it to Naruto to miss out on one of the biggest phenomenon's in book history.

Kakuzu gulped nervously as he saw Nami out of the corner of his eye. If she saw him chatting with a customer, she would skin him alive.

"Hey Uzumaki! Place your bet!" He said, a bit louder than normal, retrieving his notebook which held all the bets.

"huh..?" Naruto asked confused.

"Bet!" Kakuzu hissed. Crap..she was coming this way, he was so dead…

Naruto sweat dropped. "Fine..fine…uhhh….just put uhh…."

"Kakuzu?" Came a very scary voice from behind the two. She had her hands on her hips, and was tapping her foot in annoyance.

Kakuzu visually paled. "Y-yes Nami-san?"

"You are utterly useless!" Nami cried out, shoving him aside. "Watch and learn." She spat at him. Nami turned to Naruto with a huge grin on her face.

"Hello there, I'm sure you must be interested in betting in this epic battle today!" She said, leaning towards the blonde ninja.

Naruto smiled nervously. "Uhhh…not really Tebayo…"

Something in her eyes pierced into him. "Are you absolutely _**sure**_ about that?"

**x.X.x**

By the time it was twelve am, poor Naruto had placed all of his money on a bet that the geezer with the staff would lose. He didn't even remember why he gave in…it was all a blur…

But it didn't matter anymore. The battle would begin any second now. Even now, he saw Ichigo enter the opposite side of the anime stadium.

The stadium was sparsely populated, since most were still at the battle between the two old wizards. A couple of characters from Ichigos' canon world were sitting lazily in the stands, but the rest were those who chose not to read ,and thus had no interest in the epic battle going on in the stadium next door.

Naruto stepped onto the field where the battle would take place. He might not have a huge audience, but this was still going to be a huge battle. He could sense it.

Ichigo stepped onto the field, opposite of Naruto, he carried his giant sword, almost effortlessly and positioned himself for a fight.

The screen flashed the words:

**ICHIGO KUROSAKI VERSUS NARUTO UZUMAKI**

**GO!!**

Naruto smirked. "You're going down!!" He roared at the top of his lungs.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Idiot." He said under his breath.

Naruto began to form hand seals.

"Ninpou…Kage bunshin no-"

The next thing Naruto knew, everything had gone black.

**x.X.x**

Shikamaru gave a smirk of victory. The points had been counted up. He had won by four and a half points. Once he had learned Toyas strategy, winning had been the easy part. Of course, even with a full game behind him, it wasn't until the last ten minutes where he able to finally find his opening and turn the game around entirely.

Toya lowered his head in disappointment, and clenched his hands tightly together. "We will battle again, Shikamaru-san" He said quietly.

"Like hell you will! Not till he battles me first!" Cried out a voice behind them. It was a boy with black hair except for his bangs which were blonde.

Shikamaru recognized this boy as one of Toyas friends, most likely from the same canon. "As exciting as that sounds, I must go pick up a very troublesome idiot. We have some scenes we need to shoot and junk." He said tonelessly.

Toya and his friend looked at him mournfully. Their shows and manga had ended a long time ago. It was a painful thing, knowing your story had ended.

Shikamaru said nothing to show he sympathized, since at the moment, nothing would have appealed to him more then to have the series end. He could finally settle down, and date any girl he wanted. He wouldn't have to baby sit Naruto anymore, and he could spend his entire day discovering new mind games.

And he could finally get back to that chess game he and Artemis Fowl never finished.

And he could finally have time to get a different hair style.

Frankly, life would just be a lot less troublesome.

Shikamaru first realized something was wrong when he had heard the battle had been done for hours. Surely Naruto would have tracked him down to tell him the play by play of his newest victory?

Maybe he just got lost. Yeah, that dunderhead most likely got lost trying to find a ramen shop or something…

The second time he realized something was horribly wrong, was when he caught view of the statistics in the anime stadium.

**2: Ichigo Kurosaki**

**Losses: 0**

**Wins: 85330**

Shikamaru began to get really worried. Naruto…lose?

He tracked down Kakuzu, only to find out that the Akatsuki had not seen the idiot since he left with what little money he had left.

Shikamaru was now panicking, something he rarely did. Where was Uzumaki Naruto?

**x.X.x**

He finally found him. He was in the hospital, right next to two swordsmen who were grumbling about how they were perfectly fine and that they didn't need a doctor.

Shikamaru found his mouth dry as he saw his companion.

Naruto was completely unconscious, and absolutely covered in many deep gashes. Even with the Kyuubis' chakra healing the wounds, it was still clear that he had been beaten badly.

"Naruto…?" He asked hesitantly. Naruto had to be ok. Right?

Naruto gave something that resembled a cough. "Damn bastard..." He said hoarsely. "I'm going to murder that strawberry head…"

Relief flooded in. That idiot was alive!

"Don't scare me like that!" Shikamaru found himself saying despite himself. He had never realized how much he cared for that idiot.

Naruto glared at Shikamaru. "I lost…" He said, more to himself, in pure disbelief.

He turned around, and faced the ceiling, leaving his mouth to form an 'O' shape. "I really lost."

Shikamaru sighed. "You can't win them all Naruto. Look, you fought a fair fight, and in the end he got more hits in then you did. Just keep practicing, like you're doing with Sasuke."

Naruto stared at Shikamaru. He gave a twisted grin that wasn't a grin at all. "That's the problem Shika. I didn't get any hits in…"

Shikamaru widened his eyes. "Wha--Bakano!! You had to have punched him once!"

"The battle was less than a second long. I didn't even have enough time to use a jutsu. Next thing I know, I'm here next to two samurai losers who refuse to shut up."

Shikamaru gulped. Naruto was by no means the most powerful ninja. But he was the title character! He was… he should have… not even one hit? He had to have been mistaken. There was simply no way…

No. There was something horribly wrong here. Shikamaru turned away and headed out of the hospital. He had a few well placed questions for this Ichigo Kurosaki…

To Be Continued

**Vote on my userlookup for the outcome of Dumbledore versus Gandalf. Many thanks to my first and only reviewer DtecnoKira.**


	3. Meeting the Best

Naruto stretched his limbs and left the hospital with only a damaged pride. Being the host for the kyuubi had its advantages. He slunk past the green haired swordsman who was arguing with some blond visitor with a swirly eyebrow, and past the redhead swordsman who was talking to some little kid.

What had been early morning was now late afternoon. How long had he been in that hospital? The memories of the crushing defeat began to flood back in as he walked to the food court.

He had lost.

He, Uzumaki Naruto, title character of Naruto, lost.

It wasn't fair! All his life he had trained and trained and managed to claw his way to the top and all he got for it was his ass whooped in less than a second. He blamed Kishimoto-sama. Why couldn't that good for nothing mangaka made him stronger? He made a three year time skip and all he learned was that blue and orange clashed horribly!

"Uzumaki-chan!!!" Came the familiar voice of Kakuzu.

Naruto grimaced when he saw the slightly comical appearance of Kakuzu running.

"Found you! Listen about the battle you bet on…" Kakuzu said hurriedly. He had alto of people to threate-…errr….warn…about the wages they had bet so he needed to make this quick.

Naruto brightened momentarily. "yeah?" The only reason Kakuzu would confront him would be if he had bet right and won money. If he had lost, then no need to find him right?

"You bet on Dumbledore, and I am sorry to inform you that Gandalf won. With a twenty percent increase…you owe us approximately…"

"Wait. WHAT?!?!" Naruto screeched. He had not just heard that. "I already bet Tebayo!!! I don't need to give you money!!! That's not how it works!!"

Kakuzu shrug. "Sorry, Nami-sans' rules. If you win, you get your money back and a twenty to forty percent increase, the same when you lose. It's only fair that way."

"I don't have that kind of money Tebayo!"

"Chill Kyuubi-chan, it's only a twenty percent increase. The odds for Dumbledore winning were really low anyway, so you should be happy it's only that much."

Naruto turned red with anger. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT EARLIER DATTEBAYO?!?!?!"

Kakuzu shrunk back slightly. "I assumed you knew. You would have to be a complete dunderhead to not know…"

Naruto sighed sadly. He was a complete dunderhead. A complete dunderhead who lost. To a strawberry samurai. With orange hair. And a really pointy chin. How could he have lost to such a loser anyway? He had defeated…

Well he had defeated…

Neji and Kiba, but that really didn't count, not anymore really.

Gaara! He had defeated Gaara! Yeah Gaara…

He had defeated Kakuzu! Even if it had been seven against one…

He had….uhhh…defeated…uhhhhh….

No one. He, the great Naruto Uzumaki hadn't defeated ANYONE worthwhile since Gaara. And that had been pre shippuden, heck that was pre Tsunade! And Pre Itachi!

The only big battle he had was Him verses Sasuke and he had LOST!

Damn he sucked.

With this new epiphany at hand, Naruto realized it was high time to scarf down some ramen because ramen made everything feel better.

One kage bunshin later and he had managed to ditch Kakuzu, and head for the ramen stand.

However, no ramen could beat Ichirakus, and he found that it just wasn't right.

"Stupid crappy ramen." He muttered between slurps. It was horrible to believe he would have to pay for this. Maybe he wouldn't pay for it. He was Naruto Uzumaki after all. He could just go Kyuubi on anyones' ass who thought to cross him. Unlike his story counterpart, Naruto suffered no nonsensical side effects like 'shortened life span' since he was practically immortal. Which meant the RasenShuriken was always a possibility…

Or maybe he could try out his kick ass toad sage powers. Or just use kage bunshin for old times' sake.

As long as that loser Ichigo didn't show up. It aggravated him, how he could have lost in half a second. Naturally, as a ninja he was fast and he was of course related to THE yellow flash (oh don't act so surprised, a monkey could figure it out), so to say there was someone that much faster than him was just illogical. Dattebayo.

"ha-ha, wow, and I thought LUFFY was similar!"

Naruto whipped around to see who said the words. It was some weirdo man with a baseball cap and an orange jersey. Ok, this orange thing had to stop.

He grinned and made a peace sign at Naruto. "Yo!"

Naruto stood up, folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. "Do I know you 'Tebayo?"

"Oh you have no idea Uzumaki!" Baseball cap said with a chortle. "You have no idea!!" He was laughing now, as if he just heard some hysterical joke. But there was no joke. So clearly, he was just insane.

"You're not in my manga so how in the world am I supposed to know you 'Tebayo?" Naruto pointed out, trying to be as reasonable as possible. He had, after all, only met other manga characters yesterday.

"I'm not…oh god that's good!" The man seemed to be laughing himself into tears and nearly fell to the ground. However, he managed to regain his composure and smiled calmly at Naruto.

"You're one creepy old man ya know that?" Naruto said in response to such…theatrics…

Baseball Cap smiled and fished out some yen. "Here, let me pay for your meal, and in exchange, you take a walk with me."

If it wasn't for that fact that Naruto had almost no money left, and he would need that to fend off Kakuzu once he was found, Naruto would have said no.

But, he did indeed need that money, so he nodded, and reluctantly agreed.

Baseball Cap smiled widely; he put the yen on the table and motioned for Naruto to follow him. It was after a couple minutes of silence he finally spoke up.

"So Naruto, I heard you had your first fight against Kurosaki and lost?" The words came effortlessly, and the way he said it, you would have assumed he was talking about a game of checkers, or janken or something impossibly stupid like that.

"He cheated 'Tebayo! CHEATED!!! No way someone could win that fast!"

Baseball cap chuckled lightly. "Well, He's won most fights that way. Usually it's unscathed too. In fact, the only fight I think he lost his advantage with was with Yoh Asakura from Shaman King. And Yoh is a weakling anyway so-"

Naruto ignored him. The explanation was boring anyway. Unless he mentioned something like 'super secret weakness' or some sort of move that he could learn to defeat that strawberry moron, Naruto wasn't interested.

"-Course the problem with Ryuk was that all you had to do was throw an apple his way and he'd be good. Yagami did no better. He's only human and can only write so fast. And some of us here are either not human or already dead so that didn't even work. Not that any of us can die anyway…"

...Ichigo had to have a weakness. Maybe he was really stupid. Or maybe he had some sort of kryptonite. Like Cheese. Maybe cheese was his weakness…

"Let me tell you, yoyos are not as weak as you might think. I was surprised how far he made it, but he wasn't the main character so of course he could never have made it as far as he wanted…"

Maybe he was pervert. Like Ero-sennin. Maybe is sexy jutsu could take care of him. No, only lame sidekicks were designated as the perverts. No way would a main character ever be given such a horrible weakness.

"…someone you do not want to cross. Pity she was put in an American cartoon with American standards. Her bending abilities would have been so much better placed in a Japanese style manga. Then it could have gone on for a good half a decade or so…"

Maybe he could hunt him down while he was sleeping and shave his head… Then paint an obscene hand gesture on it with several American curse words. And a mustache. Mustaches were always good.

"…And trust me, never ever mention 'mudkip' around them, apparently it has some sort of hidden mean- ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!?" Baseball Cap cried out indignantly and hit Naruto on the head.

"OWWW!!!" Naruto cried out. "Don't hit me again or I'll kick your ass Dattebayo!"

"Sure you will kid. Sure you will…" Baseball Cap scoffed. "Before or after you get your ass kicked by Sasuke again?"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut UP!!!" Naruto screeched. "I am way more powerful then Sasuke-teme!!!"

"Really now? Funny, if I remember correctly, didn't he take down Deidara, whom you and Kakashi combined couldn't take down?"

Naruto was foaming at the mouth and looked extremely unstable at the moment. "Just _who_…the _hell_…do you think you are?" His voice was low and full of murderous intent. It was clear that one too many buttons had been pushed.

The man smiled slightly. He shrugged and made another peace sign. "Well, people round here call me Kugox."

**xXx**

Shikamaru stared at the computer. No way. No way could someone be that powerful. There was simply no way.

The internet, being the powerful source of information it was, had been Shikamarus first stop. First of all, personality wise, Ichigo was the perfect fighter. Impulsive but calculating, stubborn but selfless… his only real fault being that he tended to misread people's names and he fell into a depressive state when he lost because he let a friend down.

All in all, it was one of those cool people that Shikamaru had always despised. Like Sasuke, Neji, and slowly but surely, Naruto. He much preferred the not so cool people, like himself and Chouji.

Not to mention that guy managed to get crushed from many girls in the series. Yup, just like Sasuke.

That would have been enough to send him into a state of shock, until he discovered something much more horrifying. His powers and abilities. With top physical abilities in human and spiritual mode, he was stronger than the second strongest girl in all of Japan. He picked up new skills with amazing proficiency, and was able to learn an ability that took normal people hundreds of years to master in three days. And while the same instance happened to Naruto, unlike Naruto, he was not banned from using his new move. Or whatever Zanpakuto was.

Soon, Shikamaru discovered what made Ichigo so fast. It was called flash steps. Apparently, he was not too well versed in it, but showed amazing proficiency in it. That combined with his Zanpakuto, made him an expert swordsman. That explained all the deep cuts on Naruto.

Slowly, the truth sunk in. Naruto couldn't win. All this power Ichigo got was when he was in his spiritual body. This meant out of his normal body. And you had to be a shinigami in order to be able to tough his spiritual body. In order to defeat him, you would have to kill his normal body before he defeated you. This would take less than half a second. It seemed nearly impossible to Shikamaru.

If Ichigo went at normal speed this would all seem more possible, but it was that speed! And the fact that you could not do anything against him. As a spirit thing, he could attack both spirits and solid humans. It was all horribly unmatched. How anyone could defeat him seemed simply impossible, even to him. This wasn't NARUTO anymore. This was an entire universe with entirely different rules. Everything he learned had just gone down the drain.

He rubbed his temples in aggravation. There was no way he was going to subject himself to the torture of learning an entirely new universe. Not for Naruto. Not for Tema- ok. Maybe for Temari, but she wasn't here now was she?

He just hoped Naruto had just managed to stay out of trouble and hadn't done anything stupid.

**xXx**

"Kugox!!! I challenge you to a fight Dattebayo!"

To Be Continued

All information on Bleach was taken from the Bleach Wiki, if I said anything false about the Bleach universe; feel free to let me know since I am not familiar with the universe.


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